Corrupted unbreakable soul

“I do understand and it is terrible”
Franz Kafka.
Corrupted unbreakable soul
: I have participated in depravity
And I wonder if I am corrupted
I have felt the touch of the void
And I question the state of my soul
I have felt the colour of my heart change
And I doubt what my heart wants now
I have played with fiendish thoughts
And I fear for the sanity of my mind
I have spoken cursed words
And I am unsure of the veracity of my words now
I have seen unspeakable things
And I beg if my gaze will ever be pure,
I am unsure of who I am
I am doubtful of what I have become
I question everything that I am
I am searching for what my reality is,
But I do understand this and it is terrible
I do understand that this comes with pain
I do understand that this comes with chaos
And it is terrible,
But strangely enough I do also understand that I am redeemable
I do understand that my heart will find its way
I do understand that my soul is unbreakable
I do understand that I have purer words to speak
And it is wonderful.